Tag Archives: fitness

Absence Does Not Make the Heart Grow Fonder

Sometimes taking a break is necessary for mental clarity, healing of the soul, or simply to rest.  But don’t seclude yourself from what continues to move.  If you take or give time from a situation, you will not go back to it the same.   And just like in the gym, the progress you make can’t be held onto without work.  Could you disappear from your partner for “just a couple months” and expect things to be OK when you get back?  Someone would get hurt.  At the very least, you would need to reassess.

My biggest question is, “Why is a break going to help?”  Usually it’s because life builds up like a pressure cooker and the easiest thing to give up is yourself; your happiness, your time, your money.  If no one else is going to do the work, it has to be you, right?  Or your support system.

Wait, whaaat?

Yes, a support system.  We’re pack animals.  Need evidence?  Look at all the systems in place for us NOT to feel alone when we die.  Morbid, but true.  And on this grim topic, if you don’t have enough money or people around you to help in your attempt to get healthy, then what’s going to happen when you’re sick?  Ignoring the little aches and pains or warning signs will make them give way to something worse.  At some point you have to break down and go to a doctor.  But how much time did you waste because you were just putting it off for more important things?  Your decision is to take a break from the most intimate thing you do (taking care of your body) and give it to….what?

Online dating?

Are you going to take a break from showering, too?

That will not help said online dating.

And why is suffering alone (quietly “dieting” or more likely not eating/wearing headphones and beating yourself up on some weird machine that causes you pain two days later) an easier social choice than being part of a healthy community? Labels be dammed, any group of people trying live positively gets credit for trying.  Why?

It’s fashionable to hurt yourself.  It’s normal to quit.

So OK, take your break.   I know, you need time.


But why?


Why Do You Wake?

“Every decision is made from a place of love or fear.” -Unknown

“The brain interprets fear and pain the same way.” – Tim Anderson

Going to work, creating a pattern, avoiding making ripples that could be good or bad…be braver than that.  Try making an actual change.  Own up to the bad choices you’ve made and don’t expect to just be forgiven.  A weekend binge won’t kill ya, but how many weekends has that been your life?  One white lie might go unnoticed, but how often do you have to lie?  Why is that your life?  There is nothing you can’t walk away from as long as you have your health- spiritual and physical-and there is nothing you can’t head toward.

If you choose to walk away, end the subject there.  Fess up to having nothing more to gain from a situation, good or awful, and stop hurting the world because you are stuck.  Change step and make that new direction your cause.  Take one step toward being the person you think you can be or once thought you were.

And be honest.  There is nothing so easily hurtful as deceit.  Be better than that in word and deed, especially to yourself.  Don’t promise yourself that you’ll change unless you will take action.  Stop telling others what you think they want to hear and maybe the habit will carry over to your own mantras.

It is rare to hear an honest voice.  But if you think you catch one on the wind, find it.  Discover what’s there and could inspire you.   Don’t beat yourself up if it’s hot air.  Just change direction.  And find  a new teacher.

In Progress…